Equanamity Blog # 7

Today a patient came in saying, “I didn’t go to an important career event because I was hungry.” Well really, if you want to know, she said “my social anxiety got the best of me.”

What does that mean? Usually, it means “I am afraid of being judged,” or “I will not live up to the idealized ego identity imposed on me by parents that I project onto everyone else.”

Who am I if I am not my parents’ favorite?
How do I expect anyone to accept me?

Most often social anxiety has its roots in the fear of not winning the favor of our parents who are our first important relationships (love objects). This identity is based on a very personal subjective view that cannot possibly hold significance in any other sphere than our family of origin.

This is what we therapists call transference.

How can we objectify this imprisoning emotional dynamic?
Who ever gave our parents the authority to decide whether or not we are good enough, worthy, lovable, etc.?

Well, we did! As infants we feared if we did not please our parents it may lead to death.
For example, “Perhaps they’ll stop feeding us!” Of course that’s what it “feels” like and not how it really goes most of the time.

Learning to be the master of our self-esteem, to face reality, and that we are our own worst critic is key to conquering social anxiety.

Assume innocence until proven guilty is my motto.

This translates into “you are always right, your feelings are always right.” Of course this does not exclude friendliness, as long as we are friendly and understand that others may disagree with us. Later we can entertain whether we want to expand our views.

Too many times we just cave in because someone else disagrees. Welcoming others’ ideas and feelings is very helpful in managing social anxiety. Giving compliments and acting friendly is a secret weapon and a tool that is very important for conquering social anxiety.

Try it you’ll like it!
Act as if you really mean it and before you know it, your anxiety will fade away.

Oh, and I do know that panic symptoms often need soothing and further coping strategies. That is why I created “Freedom from Anxiety” especially for you.

Go to: WWW.AUDIOSHRINK.COM ​and download “Freedom from Anxiety” to your listening device!

Best Regards,
Dr. Lorie

equanimity 6

imageequanimity #6

is a perfectly balanced state of mind rooted in insight.

noun: equanimity
mental calmness, composure and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation!

So many people are practicing yoga now days, it is a wonderful approach to cycling down, slowing the breath and reconnecting to our body mind. Through yoga, we connect and find an entry path for quieting the mind.

In this age of anxiety, all of us have to work so hard to earn enough to pay our bills, never mind have a quality of life that satisfies our creative desires. This week a patient called and asked to start treatment. She reported knowing that she has had anxiety her whole life. The patient reported, “I think its genetic, my mother and father both have it and so does my twin sister.”

We talked about the importance of therapy and learning to problem solve life struggles without feeling overwhelmed. Feelings of being overwhelmed distorts our ability to think constructively and twists our body. Much has been written about the Psoas muscle that is located next to the spine – it helps us straighten up our body and promotes calm thinking.

This where yoga comes in.

Also, aligning our chakras helps to align our minds. What could be bad, why not give it a try? Of course, all of the physical work is important but without words and understanding we quickly regress into panicky patterns.

This is where therapy comes in.

There is nothing more important than venturing into the unexplored crevices of our mind to learn what is the best for us. Weekly therapy sessions are invaluable to help cope with our fast lives. It is probably the most important commitment we can make and all our relationships benefit from it.

Try it you’ll like it!

To give you a head start and manage your anxiety, get the equanimity down load: “Freedom From Anxiety.” Just go to my website: http://www.audioshrink.com for immediate relief!

Equanimity 5

Download-Card2 copy      equanimity 5

equanimity  is a perfectly balanced state of mind rooted in insight.
noun: equanimity
mental calmness, composure and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation!

Anxiety often times is a communication that we are fully alive , residing in our body a perfect machine that helps us breath, move, dance , love, laugh and cry. A flutter of anxiety, is not any more powerful that a flutter of arousal. Sensations are a natural body function, all of which can be regulated by our thoughts and our breath. Any feelings that we do not want to feel hold us prisoner. Did anyone ever tell you, I don’t want to feel sexy or happy, or excited or in love…?
Of course not, and of course no one ever tells us when they are secretly harboring good feelings or feelings identified as “bad feelings”. Most us at one point in our lives feel overwhelmed by one feeling or another. How long do feelings last..? Usually, not for long!
Feelings last as long as the thoughts or ideas related to them go undigested. If there is a conflict or a problem, concurrent anxiety hangs out until a reasonable solution is found. Problem solving and brain storming with a supportive friend or a professional psychotherapist can alleviate the anxiety related to such conflicts. Cultivating patience and kindness helps. Often times when we seek support from a doctor who is busy or a friend who is busy they want a quick fix. We all have experienced quick fixes that easily can be undone as quickly as they came around. Xanax, Valium and Klonapin are such fixes. Control over our lives becomes externalized, the frustrations and conflicts are never resolved. We just shut down the machine (our body) so we no longer feel the sensations associated with anxiety.

With the equanimity download you can learn to feel calm or knock yourself out and feel nothing using a quick fix benzodiazepine. Its’ your choice knock out your feelings or live with them feeling completely alive? Do you want to learn about your feelings or cover them up? The equanimity download teaches you how to be in the driver’s seat and learn how to manage your feelings permanently.
You can find the equanimity download @ http://www.audioshrink.com

Equanimity #4

“Last summer, near the end of my mother’s life, I woke up in my childhood bedroom in the middle of the night in a fever of panic. My heart was thrumming, my mind racing. In 1819, the English poet John Keats called anxiety a “wakeful anguish,” and so it was with me. Relief seemed impossible.

Then I had an idea. I wandered into the room where my mother lay dying and found the hospice nurse—a gentle, generous soul—sitting quietly beside my mother as she slept. She looked up from her fat paperback.

“Do you want to hold her hand?” she asked.

“No,” I said. “I’m looking for the Ativan.”

The nurse went back to her book, and I went rummaging through the pill bottles. Point-five milligrams and fifteen minutes later, the anti-anxiety medicine prescribed to my mother had bound itself to my GABA receptors, and I was calm enough to sleep. Afterward, I felt the occasional twinge of regret about my priorities at that moment. Then a friend told me she had swiped drugs from her just-dead mother to cope with her own surging anxiety. “I was glad for it,” she said.

See Also
Chill-Pill Matchmaking: Four Anxious Archetypes and the Drugs That Might Suit Them
In my Brooklyn kitchen last December, not long after a report circulated about veterinarians using Xanax to treat post-traumatic-stress disorder in military dogs, a neighbor mentioned that she had begun to carry Xanax in her purse after her first child entered kindergarten, for relief from the uncontrollable separation anxiety she felt each time she boarded the subway and headed to work. “It was just so obvious that time was passing, and I could never get it back,” she told me. Another friend, the breadwinner in her family, started taking Xanax when she saw that she was about to get laid off, then upped her dose when she did. Around Thanksgiving, I found myself sitting on a plane next to a beautiful young FIT graduate in a rabbit-fur vest. Before takeoff, she neatly placed a pillbox on her knees, plucked out a small tablet, and swallowed it. “Control issues,” she said sweetly, giving me a gorgeous smile. As we became airborne, she reached out and clutched my hand.

If the nineties were the decade of Prozac, all hollow-eyed and depressed, then this is the era of Xanax, all jumpy and edgy and short of breath. In Prozac Nation, published in 1994, Elizabeth Wurtzel describes a New York that today seems as antique as the one rendered by Edith Wharton. In the book, she evokes a time when twenty­somethings lived in Soho lofts, dressed for parties in black chiffon frocks, and ended the night crying on the bathroom floor. Twenty years ago, just before Kurt Cobain blew off his head with a shotgun, it was cool for Kate Moss to haunt the city from the sides of buses with a visage like an empty store and for Wurtzel to confess in print that she entertained fantasies of winding up, like Plath or Sexton, a massive talent who died too soon, “young and sad, a corpse with her head in the oven.”

This is not to say that clinical depression is ever a fashion statement—it’s not. In the nineties, just as now, there were people who were genuinely, medically depressed, who felt hopeless and helpless and welcomed the relief that Prozac can provide. But beyond that, the look and feel of that era, its affect, was lank and dissolute. It makes sense in retrospect that Clerks, that cinematic ode to aimlessness, and Eddie Vedder (in his loser T-shirt) came along as the country started its two-decade climb toward unparalleled prosperity. In 1994, all the fever lines that describe economic vitality—gross domestic product, median household income, the Dow—pointed up. Just as teenage rebellion flourishes in environments of safety and plenty, depression as a cultural pose works only in tandem with a private confidence that the grown-ups in charge are reliably succeeding on everyone’s behalf.

Anxiety can also be a serious medical problem, of course. It sometimes precedes depression and often gets tangled up with it (which is why Prozac-type drugs are prescribed for anxiety too). But anxiety has a second life as a more general mind-set and cultural stance, one defined by an obsession with an uncertain future. Anxious people dwell on potential negative outcomes and assume (irrational and disproportionate) responsibility for fixing the disasters they imagine will occur. “What’s going to happen?” or, more accurately, “What’s going to happen to me?” is anxiety’s quiet whisper, its horror-show crescendo the thing Xanax was designed to suppress. Three and a half years of chronic economic wobbliness, the ever-pinging of the new-e-mail alert, the insistent voices of prophet-pundits who cry that nuclear, environmental, political, or terrorist-generated disaster is certain have together turned a depressed nation into a perennially anxious one. The editors at the New York Times are running a weekly column on anxiety in their opinion section with this inarguable rationale: “We worry.”

Check out the rest of this important article anxiety medication here.


equanimity 3

is a perfectly balanced state of mind rooted in insight.
noun: equanimity
mental calmness, composure and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation!

Our symptoms of anxiety are a communication that there are unresolved issues knocking at our door from the unconscious. At times when there are feelings we have not been able to express we flee into “Fight or Flight” consciousness. Running from our feelings does not help. After all, they are just feelings, why run?

Finding a psychotherapist who can help us completely digest our feelings through talking is the first step. Trying to cope with our feelings on our own without the proper help can lead us to places we never intended to go. This morning a patient said to me: “Listen too your feelings…(on your own without help), and before you know it you’re are dead in the bath tub.”

Everyone who ever spent time in psychotherapy wonders if Whitney Houston would still be with us if she stuck it out and continued with psychotherapy. Anxiety and panic can be biological , though they do not have to be a life sentence. Most often Anxiety is learned or imprinted during our early childhood and we cannot underestimate treatment and how it can help. Pharmaceutical interventions can be helpful though should only be used temporarily. Anxiety and Panic left untreated without psychotherapy often leads to chronic dysfunction and possible substance addiction.

And of course if you are not ready to start treatment right away you can try the, equanimity download @ http://www.audioshrink.com.

Equanimity 2


Download-Card2 copyequanimity is a perfectly balanced state of mind rooted in insight.
noun: equanimity
mental calmness, composure and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation!
Won’t It be nice when you have your own automatic switch that works to calm your symptoms of anxiety!

This morning my patient said I listened to your audio program and I was able to calm down. I feel hopeful about learning to integrate these tools to the point where I can automatically relax.
If you were never taught how to self regulate the equanimity download is a great substitute.
Theres’ no need for addictive medications, calming down is within your own power.
Listening to a 20 minute audio program can change your daily life and give you peace of mind you never thought possible. Is peace of mind worth a 20 minute effort?

Try the equanimity download: http://www.audioshrink.com

Anxiety is like all emotions, it is a communication identifying excitement, or a warning to focus or pay attention. Rather than focus on the symptoms, we can use our awareness to help identify the meaning of our anxiety. Where are you? Whats’ the danger? Are you holding your breath?Is there any rush? Most often we are safe and have all the time we need.

It may help to talk to a trained psychotherapist in addition to using the audio program in order to sort through the triggers of anxiety and manage the situation that is causing the stress.

Equanimity… Blog 1 with doctor Lorie

Equanimity is perfectly balanced state of mind rooted in insight.

noun: equanimity

mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation

You can give your worries a hug, using the all the tools provided in the equanimity blog. Worries can quickly turn into anxiety and panic attacks when we do not get the support and help to understand our feelings. Learning to name our feelings is the first step. Finding a therapist who helps you talk about your feelings helps.  Talking helps us develop insight into understanding of our fears and worries and Identify feelings that keep us from living the life that is especially ours to enjoy. When we let our anxiety take the lead and leave our goals behind we are putting our life on the back burner.

Time is ticking, have you heard…?

What were your thoughts when you first felt the flutter of anxiety trigger you to fight or flight?

Was it a thought?

Was there something dangerous going on real or imagined?

Most often a thought that gets carried away results in anxiety and panic.

You may ask what if I am actually in danger? It is even more important in dangerous situations to have access to our calm selves so that we can make choices directing us to a safe place!

If you are not ready to start psychotherapy and want to get some help right away feel free to follow, the link to http://www.audioshrink.com and get the equanimity download: “Freedom from Anxiety” !

Stay tuned to the equanimity blog for more insights and support for anxiety management!